Ben's Interaction Guide

Overview

Hey there! I’m Ben, and this is a quick guide to help you understand and interact with me effectively.

Why should I care?

You don’t need to. But, if you want us to do great work together this will help us bootstrap our future relationship. You’ll be able to navigate potential issues we encounter — faster.

tl;dr

Here are the top 3 things that could help navigate communicating with me:

1. I use a direct communication style. This does not mean that I’m an insensitive robot; rather that I tend to spend time with people who are great communicators. ¹
2. Improving myself is in the top three most important things in my life. If you want to nudge me in a direction that’s a good starting place.
3. I never do things because it’s always been done that way.²

Quotes from real people

“Don’t seek ulterior motives, behind [Benjamin’s] questions” Laurent - Worked together 4 companies for 8+ years.

“If someone’s going to work with you, they should know that you can come across pretty strong, even aggressive at times when you’re putting your opinions out there. But the thing is, you’re actually open to feedback, really looking for it. So, the key [for the other person] is not to get defensive. People need to communicate their frustration ASAP so you can start adapting to their communication style. It all kind of hinges on how fragile or ego-driven the other person is.” Thomas - Worked for 4 years together and tried to build a startup

“Something people should know about you is that they really need to get your buy in if they want you to [execute on a task]” Leon - Friends for 2+ years

“One of the things about you that people need to understand [if they work with you]. Is that you have very high expectations of yourself and people you work with.” Life-partner for 4+ years

Communication Style

• Devil’s Advocate: I often take this role for argument exploration. In the camp of people who do not like me, it is often because they believed I shared my opinions when I was actually exploring a situation.
• Text vs. In-Person: I might seem less empathetic in texts and very focused. In person, I’m usually loud and friendly.
• Abstract thinker who knows how to get their hands dirty: I tend to react best to people who can easily talk about abstract ideas, but who also know how to get shit done.³
• Learning conversations: If you’re nerding out about something that I don’t know, I would be able to ask you questions one hour straight and not be bored.

Work Approach

• I’m a multi-ethnic child, conventions are less ingrained in my perspective in various topics that leads to me not being shy about challenging so-called best practices.
• I’m quick to take a step back if things seem off-track, and I like to think in the smallest steps to get us moving and reach our bigger goals.
• I tend to get disinterested when things go too well and prefer to focus myself on the next challenge.

Work / Life Balance

• In a perfect situation, life and leisure is one and the same. This is not hypothetical, I’ve been fortunate enough to be in this situation multiple times.
• I see work as expansion and contractions. That can be sometimes working extremely hard overly long hours and then later on having “slower” moments.

Common Pitfalls and Tips

• I’m mostly quite happy to adapt my communication style to the person I’m talking to. Just ask :)
• If you want to convince me, the easiest thing is to “frame” your arguments within the bigger picture. The why is always more important than the how me.⁴
• Some people experience my curiosity and communication style as me “drilling” them. I’m working on spotting this a bit earlier on, but don’t hesitate to call me out if you get that feeling.

Personality Type

this is weirdly extremely accurate

• ENTP/ENTJ

Related

• When I do my best work